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Literature by ravenwritingclaw

Literature by trekseven


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Submitted on
February 6, 2011
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before you met me, you couldn't sleep.

what did you do in those eight hours of quiet?

i imagine you lying all night in your bed, thoughts closing in on you like flames. but you're still, your brown-sugar skin illuminated by the memories. it sounds beautiful. i know it hurt you very much though. i've seen the scars.

and tonight i can't help but feel like i have a responsibility; an obligation to gather you in my arms and let my bones be your blanket, darling; let the unsteady rhythm of my breath be your only focus. and sleep.

when you wake i will be here. or there. wherever it is you want me to be. hopefully you're thinking what i'm thinking and we can wake up beside each other, tangled in each other.

maybe i'll rise first - these times are my favorite. my eyes drip open and because you are my first sight the day is full of promise. i take every bit of you in;

see you breathe you feel you.

i have you. i always forget this. but each realization of it is more glorious than the last.

golden light will stream in from the back window and when your eyes flutter open they will put the sun to shame. it may as well just sink below the horizon again, shoulders slumped in defeat - unlike yours, broad and strong but won't you let me carry some of what weighs them down?

some days you'll let your mind go slowly, taking me in as well - though you move much more smoothly than me. i imagine my body a vast land while your eyes travel across it, exploring each valley and re-mapping it in your mind as if it is new. and for you, i'll not mention that i am not pretty and why would you want to memorize a creature like me? for you i'll bite my lip and gate the words with my teeth.

other days you will instantly smile; corners of your mouth upturn softly and so carefully and i know how it feels - "do not get excited because what if it's just a dream?" but it's not, dear. too good to be true but it's true anyway. and when you remember you let your teeth show and you squeeze me tight and i kiss the little space where your collarbones meet; my favorite place in the world, and whisper, "morning."
categories are difficult.
a bit broken but hey, i wrote something and that feels like an accomplishment to me right now. (:
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:iconsummernightangel:
summernightangel Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012
this is amazing.
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:iconcollarbonechild:
collarbonechild Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
oh goodness, you're amazing. thank you.
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:iconthe-picturer:
The-Picturer Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012
this is so gorgeous. thank you.
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:iconcollarbonechild:
collarbonechild Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
oh no, thank YOU.
Reply
:iconpossumfan:
PossumFan Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I just love the last paragraph, so delicious to read... Well, all of it is delicious to read! Brilliant work here, well done!

+ fave
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:iconcollarbonechild:
collarbonechild Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much!
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:iconpossumfan:
PossumFan Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! :)
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:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012
i didn't remember reading this but now i did and it hit me all over again and this is gorgeous
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:iconcollarbonechild:
collarbonechild Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
oh gilfkad;dsaf, thank you
Reply
:iconplurpl3:
Plurpl3 Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My favorite part: "i have you. i always forget this. but each realization of it is more glorious than the last."

I feel exactly the same way sometimes when I see that person. Well done, I really like it :)
Reply
:iconcollarbonechild:
collarbonechild Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much (: i'm glad you can relate.
Reply
:icona-littlebirdy:
A-LittleBirdy Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
This is so beautiful. I couldn't help but smile at, "...i'll not mention that i am not pretty and why would you want to memorize a creature like me? for you i'll bite my lip and gate the words with my teeth."
I've only read two of your pieces so far, but I'm loving your work. <3
Reply
:iconcollarbonechild:
collarbonechild Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
thank you soooo much, means a lot. <3 there will be more to come. (:
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:icona-littlebirdy:
A-LittleBirdy Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
You're very welcome1
I'll be looking foreward to reading them. :) <3
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:iconmeganbreukelman:
meganbreukelman Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2011  Professional Photographer
i came back to read this again. still amazing.
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:iconcollarbonechild:
collarbonechild Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
gahh thank you, really (:
Reply
:iconrinnyi:
Rinnyi Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2011
breathtaking and lovely to read. :heart:
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:iconcollarbonechild:
collarbonechild Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
thank you, dear :heart:
Reply
:iconacidsleftmyeye:
AcidsLeftMyEye Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This is rough, but lovely.
It's romantic and seemingly sincere (I'm getting a little paranoid of irony and I worry that I'm being naive) and I really like it.
Two little things that you might think about:
Firstly, my favourite part of this is "you let your teeth show and you squeeze me tight and i kiss the little space where your collarbones meet; my favorite place in the world, and whisper, "morning."" I think this would be a stronger ending than the one you went with. You could almost swap the two sections that start with "some days" and "other days" (respectively).
Secondly, I'm a massive fan of capitalisation ("I"s and starts of sentences and the like) and I feel that without them the piece reads in a rush, more like a stream of consciousness than a complete piece. Obviously, this a personal stylistic bias and one you can happily ignore, I hate being prescriptive, so feel free to tell me if I'm just being an arsehole.

I only really meant to read this and tell you how nice it is.
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:iconcollarbonechild:
collarbonechild Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
haha you're not being an asshole/arsehole at all! i'm happy to get the criticism and you said it all directly yet politely. =D
for the first part, i'm awful when it comes to endings. i realize the one i decided to go with is a bit weak and i'm thinking about changing it later, so thanks for the suggestion! it's one i'll definitely consider.
the second, i'm not against capitalization, but for certain pieces i find using all lowercases to be more aesthetically pleasing, and sometimes it just plain feels right. like you said, that's mostly a matter of opinion and it's no problem at all that you shared yours. =)
thanks so much!
Reply
:iconsonandheir:
sonandheir Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011
This is woderful.
It makes me think of a girl who's fallen in love with a troubled boy. And since she's made him happier, maybe he puts her on a pedestal, she feels an "obligation." At least, that's what the first few paragrahps say to me. And I love it.
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:iconcollarbonechild:
collarbonechild Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
he never ever meant to pressure her but she loves him too much not to feel obligated.
you pretty much hit the nail on the head haha.
thank yooouu so very much!
Reply
:iconsonandheir:
sonandheir Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2011
Yes, I know what it's like
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:iconxinsoluble-wandererx:
wow......beautiful, truely beautiful. I wish I had some sort of adjetives to describe this, but none come to mind besides beautiful, resplendent, and magnificant.
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:iconcollarbonechild:
collarbonechild Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
haha and i wish i had words to describe how happy this comment made me!
:heart: thank you
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:iconxinsoluble-wandererx:
No problem hah <3
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:iconohsostarryeyed:
ohsostarryeyed Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2011
"i imagine you lying all night in your bed, thoughts closing in on you like flames"

i could feel that. it's beautiful.
Reply
:iconcollarbonechild:
collarbonechild Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
ahh! it means a lot to me that you commented haha, no matter the reason. thanks so much.
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